Pre cana Seminar: When Two Become One

One of the requirements for a Roman Catholic wedding in the Philippines is the Pre-cana seminar.  We did not have enough time to attend one in the Philippines last December.  We inquired with our Parish Priest and found out that there were several options.  We decided to take 'When Two Become One: Marriage as Communion' seminar which was accredited by the Catholic Archdiocese of Melbourne (http://www.cam.org.au/lifemarriagefamily/).

Speakers, seminar materials and a free wine :)

The workshop was held for two days, March 5-6, 2011.  Church representatives and real-life couples shared their knowledge in discussing both theological and practical marriage topics.

John Ver and Anne at the venue

Ten sessions were covered during the seminar.  The sessions were very helpful so we would like to share some of the things that we've learned:

Session 1: Human Love in the Divine Plan

We reflected on the reasons on why we are attending the seminar and how we would want to live our lives as one.  Marriage is a permanent, freely given, fruitful gift which is offered without condition for the good of the other.  Catholic church wedding is conducted to declare our commitment to the Almighty and to the public.

Session 2: John Paul II's Theology of the Body

Men and women must come not to desire one another out of lust but seek to have authentic love which means giving your whole self for the good of the other

Session 3: Language of the Body

It's interesting to know John Paul II's teachings about married life. He focused on sexuality.  According to him, what we say with our bodies needs to be truthful and should speak of authentic love.

Session 4: The Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Tradition

We were asked to practice saying our vows.  We got to know that marriage is a covenant and not just a promise which can be broken. The vow should be meaningful and it should contain three important aspects: Marriage is  Free, Total and Life-giving.  Marriage is  complete if all of these factors are present.

Session 5: Planning Your Family & Understanding Natural Family Planning

The Catholic church promotes Natural Family Planning methods. It is interesting to know that there are several natural ways to plan on having kids.  These are also backed up by scientific studies. Statistics were shown to prove that these methods have high rates of success.

Session 6: Family Of Origin

This helped us understand the personal qualities that we have inherited from each of our families of origin.  We pondered about these values and reflected on which ones should be rejected and which ones should be nurtured in our marriage.

Session 7: Communication in Marriage

This is a very helpful topic for couples.  We should learn to communicate our feelings with our partner and avoid giving a 'cold shoulder'. Avoid attacking your spouse's personal character.  Before getting defensive, learn to realize if there is some truth in what your partner is saying. Repair - learn how to say sorry.  Remember to affirm your spouse for all the good deeds.

Session 8: Raising A Family

Parents are responsible for their children's education.  Model love to your spouse and your children - "what you do is more powerful than what you say". Kids will change as they grow up.  Remember to show them that you will always be there to support them no matter what.  Find a mentor couple (parents who have raised their kids properly) and discuss with them their tips and tricks.

Session 9: Finances in Marriage

Decide on the kind of lifestyle that you want to have.  Create a monthly budget based on that. Prioritize and be realistic. It was nice to discuss our reactions to financial issues that we might encounter in our married life.

Session 10: Relationship Growth and Sacraments

We have identified the things that could challenge or impede the growth of our relationship. Couples should reflect and explore ways to continue to grow in love.  Things change over time. It is always important to communicate and pray together as a family.